The Moment Jesus Got Distracted on the Cross

A reflection on the power of everyday love

(audio version)

*Note: As Jesus is dying on the cross, there’s a moment when he sees his mother and “the disciple whom he loved” standing nearby. In a tender exchange, Jesus invites them into a new relationship with each other and, “from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.” (John 19:23-27, text below). Here’s a reflection on that moment and the power of everyday love.

---

It’s the contrast of it I keep thinking about. For Christians, Good Friday, the day Jesus died, is probably second only to Easter as the most consequential, most significant, most holy of days. A day when the world’s hatred and God’s love seemed to hang in the balance. A day when Jesus straddled the chasm between this world and the next, feeling the weight of humanity on his shoulders. A day that felt cosmic in scale. And yet Jesus was focused on something so…domestic.

One gets the sense the very angels of heaven were looking down on him, but instead of looking back, Jesus looked downward too, where he spotted the tear-stained face of his mother and the disciple tradition calls John, and says:

Woman, here is your son. John, here is your mother. Take care of each other.

It seems almost irresponsible of him to take his eye off the larger prize like this; to let himself be so…distracted. I know it’s his own mother and one of his dearest friends. But still. Surely there was something more important for him to be doing. Why not at least spend his last precious breaths addressing the crowd? Why not tell us one more time what we are to do in this life and what really matters?

But maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing. Could it be, that in this almost private exchange, we are witnessing not just a touching moment, but a teaching moment?

What really matters?
The everyday, ordinary relationships around you.

What are we to do?
Take care of each other.

I know it feels like the world has lost its mind these days. I know every morning there’s another worrying headline and the list of injustice, stupidity and greed seems endless. I know it appears that the darkness might really be winning this time. And I know you don’t know what to do, or how to respond, or how to hold it all. I don’t either.

But I do wonder if this moment in Jesus’ life gives us at least a partial answer. This moment so long ago, when the world had lost its mind, and injustice was endless, and the bad guys seemed to be winning…and Jesus focused on something so unimportant.

With the enormity of the problems around us, the global turmoil, and the endless crises, we can feel like we need to be focused on something bigger. Our small daily efforts to do right by those around us just don’t seem like enough.

But I will remind you, the darkness would love you to think that. The forces of hatred and cruelty would love you to think your everyday attempts to help your neighbor, write your representative, recycle that bottle, assist a stranger or care for a child don’t really add up to much.

Those forces would love for you to buy the lie that this world belongs to greedy billionaires and the rest of us, spending our days making dinner, shoveling the neighbor’s walk, and sitting with a friend in the hospital, are just extras in their movie.

Those forces would love you to get discouraged and lose hope because you came to think of those efforts as just distractions, too insignificant to make a difference.

Because those forces know the truth…that the healing, the wholeness, the salvation of this world, will come not in spite of such distractions, but through them. Because like water over stone, the difference they make is both imperceptible…and unstoppable.

---

If you would like to explore my other writing, here is the link to my Substack homepage, called The Open Gate. I also do one-on-one coaching, helping people stay sane in this crazy world we’re living in by staying grounded in their deeper Self and the larger Mystery around us. You can learn more about Soul Coaching here.

John 19:23-27

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his clothes and divided them into four parts, one for each soldier. They also took his tunic; now the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from the top. ²⁴ So they said to one another, “Let us not tear it but cast lots for it to see who will get it.” This was to fulfill what the scripture says, “They divided my clothes among themselves, and for my clothing they cast lots.” ²⁵ And that is what the soldiers did. Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, “Woman, here is your son.” ²⁷ Then he said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.